Finding Gratitude When You're Not Feeling Grateful

Nan’s Plan is a weekly letter to the world—a chaotic account of wins, losses, and stories experienced while building a big, beautiful life | Fridays @ 8:00 AM | Season 2, Week 24

Good morning!

I just returned from London, which is one of my favorite cities. London is like New York but older, cleaner, and more spread out. I was there from Sunday for work and am positively turned upside down.

I realize that a lot of my blogs this year have felt heavy. I have been circling a merry-go-round of bad thoughts and physical ailments, and while everyone is allowed a rough patch, there does come a time when you have to toughen up and shake yourself out of it.

This is that time.

I actually found a note to myself from a few weeks ago that says, “Snap out of it you dumb b****!”

Harsh… but effective! And right!

So what gives? And what should I do?

I KNOW in my soul that I am blessed with an incredible life but how do you tap into that feeling when you’re on the dark side of the moon?

After trial and error on a few things (travel, blogging, talking to Stephen), I think that the key to tapping into gratitude when you’re not feeling it is to be around other people. Constantly.

Being around other people:

• Gets you out of your head

• Widens your perspective

• Sharpens your empathy

• And distracts you from your own woes

By the time you leave the social interaction, I can almost guarantee you’ll feel fuller and lighter at the same time.

Coincidentally this year I’ve also been working from home a lot because our office is under construction. I always knew I was an outdoor cat but being by myself for this long has not been good for me or my mental health.

When I think about it, some of the most miserable people that I know also happen to be the most isolated. They don’t hang out with other peers and they don’t have a network or community. That is not natural for humans. Being in a bubble between two people or one person protects you from the sharp edges of other people’s opinions, experience, and perspective. Those sharp edges are what makes us tougher and more resilient. Let the bubble pop and let people in.

Sometimes the best way to find gratitude in something is to get teased about it by your friends.

It’s easy to tell yourself, “Be grateful for what you have.” But sometimes it’s harder to turn that on when you’re feeling down. I’ve found that being around people and stepping out of your own world is the best way to re-discover and embrace that feeling.

Stay grateful, everyone.

Happy Friday!

Always,

Nan

About Nan

I’m Hannah, 29, Detroit-born and now in Manhattan. I write about love, mistakes, friendships, family, work, and the quiet (and loud) moments that shape who we become.

This is where I process it all—honestly, chaotically, and in real time.