Justice For Self-Help Books

Nan’s Plan is a weekly letter to the world—a chaotic account of wins, losses, and stories experienced while building a big, beautiful life | Fridays @ 8:00 AM | Season 2, Week 25

This week I was in Detroit to see Mel Robbins’ live book tour with my mom. If you don’t know, Mel Robbins wrote the self-help book and world phenomenon, “Let Them.”

The concept of ‘Let Them’ really did change my life. As an over-thinker, I can’t tell you how much time I spend wasting wondering what people are saying/thinking about me. This book taught me how to let them, talk, not talk, whatever and let me, do something else with my time.

Self-help books do not usually deliver novel concepts. In fact, most of them are rooted in the same core principles:

• Be yourself.

• Be brave, be bold.

• Take action.

• Let it go.

• Habit stack.

• Practice.

• Don’t give up.

• Be resilient.

• Be gritty.

• Show up.

• Lean in.

But it’s the WAY certain authors package and deliver these messages that makes them magical to read. Which is why I don’t like these books…

I LOVE them.

And let me tell you what is not cool— liking self-help books. This genre is viewed as ~cringey~ but frankly, I don’t care. The way I see it is if there is a roadmap for living a better, bigger, fuller, and more awesome life— well, sign me up.

Stephen gets very annoyed with me and these books. Like a drug, I read them and then ride their high for a few weeks, preaching and pounding the concepts into every nook of my life. But for me, each book is like a new tool in my toolbox. And if you don’t mind, I’m going to go build a Sistine Chapel.

Maybe your life is perfect, your relationships are all in great spots, your career has peaked, and you have nothing you want to improve on thus making these books OBSOLETE.

But if you do NOT fall into these categories and you wish to improve your short life on this floating rock, the below are my must-reads and why.

GRIT by Angela Duckworth. I have not shut up about this book since reading it. Duckworth studied HOW successful people (athletes, military leaders, CEOs, doctors) become successful. And it’s not talent or connections, it’s the repetitive nature of intentional practice compounded by time.

Take this blog for example. It is a great way for me to practice writing on a weekly basis. But I only practice writing in my voice. GRIT dictates that to become better at a skill, you have to be intentional about how you practice it. As if I’m a downhill skier training for the Olympics, I need to make this blog steeper, add moguls, and add wind to shape it into something special.

This book gave me a roadmap to being successful. And that roadmap doesn’t include business school, novels, or shortcuts. It just showed me that consistency in craft over time will get you there. Be patient and work your ass off.

LET THEM by Mel Robbins.

This book depicts a simple (yet novel) formula: let them & let me.

Say you don’t get invited for a night out with your friends. That would really hurt. The spiral of “What did I do?” would most likely begin and drive you mad.

“Did they talk about me?”

“What did I do that was so embarrassing?”

“It must have been what I said last time we were together…”

Or, you could just let them go to dinner. And then LET ME, decide if those are the type of friends you want. If it is, confront them and ask why you weren’t included. If not, LET ME find new friends that want to invite me to their table!

I know it sounds so simple but this book unlocked me. I find myself being more honest, more confident, and more comfortable being myself.

And if people don’t like it?

Let them!

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey.

As the first self-help book that I ever read, this book quickly became part of the foundation of my career.

Be proactive— always be one step ahead of yourself.

Begin with the end in mind— take a moment to think through what the final goal is— that will help determine the steps on the journey.

Sharpen the saw— never stop improving yourself.

Reading this book (and all the self-helps books I read after) helped me learn that my life is in my own control, and how it turns out, is entirely up to me.

Always,

Nan

About Nan

I’m Hannah, 29, Detroit-born and now in Manhattan. I write about love, mistakes, friendships, family, work, and the quiet (and loud) moments that shape who we become.

This is where I process it all—honestly, chaotically, and in real time.